Conceived In Rape Adoption

Conceived In Rape Adoption

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Beauty from Ashes-Adopting Children Conceived in Rape- Click to Expand

Elizabeth TylerDawn Rosenquist

I have been given four great gifts in my life, the first being salvation through the blood of Yeshua the Messiah, the second being the rediscovery of Yehovah’s gift to me, the Torah which shows me how to love Him and others, the third is my wonderful husband of over 21 years, and last, but certainly not least, my children.

Sounds picture perfect, and it is perfect — not because things go flawlessly, but because we are living a miracle. A lot of people hear my story and see the negatives — multiple miscarriages, a disabled child…. and a rapist for a birthfather, but they don’t know what it is like to walk in the kind of life most people only read about. I live in the midst of miracles that others would not want because they don’t want the hard times that go with it — they see the hard and therefore miss the miracles. But life is supposed to have hard times, and we as believers are supposed to walk in the miraculous. Find for me one person in the Bible who walked in the midst of signs and wonders who did not also experience tribulation — don’t bother looking, you won’t find one.

I am going to tell you a story about our story, and about Yehovah’s redemptive plan for a teenager, a barren couple, two very “inconvenient” little boys, and I hope someday, a rapist.

I was a new believer when I got pregnant for the first time in April of 1999, and I am grateful I was a believer because if I were not already firmly in the grasp of the One I then called Jesus, my Savior, I may have forever rejected Him out of grief and anger because of what happened over the next nine months. Three pregnancies, three miscarriages. I literally felt like a dead person — a dead person who brought forth nothing but dead children. I hurt in ways I did not know a person could hurt, I grieved alone because miscarriages are not mourned by the world. We live in a world where even those who call themselves by the name of Messiah have learned to not care because they cannot stand to live in a world where the unborn are real — it just makes it hurt too much in the face of the slaughter going on day in and day out these last 40 years. Living in the midst of genocide leaves no one untouched.Those miscarriages changed me. The weeks I spent loving and dreaming about those precious babies are memories I cherish, but at the same time they always sadden me. I was not loving and dreaming about an imaginary child, I was loving the very real, very wanted babies that we so desperately wanted to welcome into the world. As Jeremiah was called from the womb (1:5), my children were all loved from the womb. As I mourned, abortion became a profanity to me. So many people, wanting children, so many babies being slaughtered. One thing I knew with all my being — there are no unwanted babies, just unwanted pregnancies.

My pain was unbearable, and one day in January 2000, after our third loss, I laid on the nursery floor and poured out my soul, like Hannah (I Sam 1:13-15). I sobbed and I did something radical, I offered up the greatest desire of my heart,

“Father, I want to be a mother more than anything else in the world, but if it is not Your will, I will accept that. But I need to know because I am dying.”

I felt a strong wind sweep through my body, from head to toe, a cool presence swept through me and removed my anguish. I knew at that moment that I would be a mother, but that my children would not be from my own womb. My husband was not quite as easily convinced, until he had a word come to him in July — that we would not be biological parents and it was time to adopt. We also conceived our fourth baby that day, and a few weeks later we were a bit confused that I was due in April. But at that point we were already registered with an online service.

Something else happened on that day in July. A troubled young woman was sexually assaulted by her ex-boyfriend, against whom she had a restraining order, and she conceived twins. It was as though that flash of life resounded in my husband’s heart and Yehovah said, “It’s time, your children are on the way.”

Fast forward to the end of August, this young woman’s attacker is in jail, she is 6 weeks pregnant, and I have just suffered our fourth loss. She is 18 and has been involved in a life of partying and rebellion, she is registered for college and she knows that a baby would mess things up for her, and she certainly doesn’t want his baby. She had an appointment with the abortion clinic coming up, but she started severely cramping and was scared that she was having an ectopic pregnancy — which she believed might kill her if she had an abortion. So she went with her aunt to have an ultrasound in order to get the “green light” to have an abortion. Her ultrasound tech did not know that, when he scanned her and turned the screen towards her and announced, “Don’t worry, it isn’t a tubal pregnancy, you are having twins.” Then he left her with that screen facing her so she could clean up.And now her life was decidedly less certain, she was struck with the two lives she saw on that screen. They were real, she knew it down to her core. She started thinking about how unfair it was — that some people couldn’t have children and here she was with two, with no husband, no way to support them.

And then Yehovah broke His silence. He told her that things would be okay if she just followed Him, that He had a plan and a family already chosen and He gave her a love for adoption. She gave her life to Messiah right there on the ultrasound table, and then her Aunt, who was waiting outside, spoke to her. You see, her Aunt had found a small cross on the floor outside the room. That was all the confirmation she needed. To say her life was turned 180 degrees would be a gross understatement, she became a new creation. A few weeks later, she and multiple family members and friends all independently chose us as the adoptive couple, out of thousands online.

Fast forward to my husband’s birthday, the morning that everything went wrong and they gave his plane seat away even though he was 20 minutes early, leaving him stuck at home instead of on his business trip. That was the day she called and gave us the gift of hope, “Hello, my name is Stephanie, and I think, no — I know that you are the family God has chosen for my babies.”

“Babies?” I could hardly believe it, talk about going from famine to feast in an instant, but that is how Yehovah works. And it wasn’t like the other calls, I knew she was the one, and she knew we were the ones. I almost forgot to add this — her due date was the same as mine, April 10 — we had conceived on the same day and with it being twins, it was as if my baby was being returned to me plus the gift of another! Three weeks later, I wrote her a letter telling her we would never abandon her, even if her rapist made trouble (which he did) and even if the babies had disabilities. And the very next day, I was to make good on that promise. Her AFP test came out abnormal, and we were told that in ten days we would find out if one or both of the babies had something called Spina Bifida, Hydrocephalus or, unthinkably, Anencephaly. Those were the longest days of my life. These were my children all but legally, my heart did not care that they were four states away in the womb of another. My children were in trouble, and I couldn’t do anything about it.

The ultrasound day came, and Stephanie sat sobbing as the doctors told her that Baby B had spina bifida and hydrocephalus, that he would never walk without braces, and that he would be incontinent for life. Then came the words that snapped her out of her tears, “Of course, you can always abort that one.”

“HIS MOTHER WOULD NEVER AGREE TO THAT!” she replied angrily.

But walking back to the car, she was not so sure, and she was scared. She called, and we cried together, and I told her I loved them and her so much, that this was no different than if they were inside me. I would not abort my own children, nor would I reject the children she was carrying, MY children she was carrying. But those at my church, some of them urged me to back out of it. I asked them angrily if they would tell me to get an abortion and they said, “That’s different.” I said, “No it isn’t, and if you think so then you really need to ask yourself what a mother is!”

Fast forward, March 22, 2001 — Stephanie gave birth to two beautiful sons and gave them to us. Andrew’s prognosis had been quite conservative, they could not see the extent of the damage, nor the clubbed feet, nor the outwardly turned hips. He had a forehead like a brick wall, but just like when he was inside Stephanie, when he would hear me speak he would stop everything and listen, even from day 1. This was my child. These were our children. My husband cared for Matthew while I remained with Andrew in NICU over the next two weeks, through two neurosurgeries.

These were two beautiful, perfect, precious children. Two lives that the world would have eliminated without a backwards glance. I was so happy to be their mother, my husband cried as he held and fed Matthew for the first time. We didn’t see rape, we saw our children. Anyone who looks at a child and sees the crimes of the Father, does not have the heart after God’s own. Anyone who looks at my children and would scornfully think “rape babies” has some severe issues. And if you think I spend a moment considering them in that light, think again. You want to know when I think of the rape? When I think of Stephanie and thank God that she didn’t choose the easy way out, that she took something horrible and made it beautiful. Let me make this clear — I am not happy that she was raped, but she was raped, that is reality — the only thing we can do is deal with reality.

My children are not the product of rape, they are beauty from ashes, proof that Yehovah can take even the vilest act and bring about good.

Pregnancy isn’t the curse of rape. Pregnancy is the ability of a woman to take violation and bring forth life. Giving birth to a child conceived in rape is a woman’s ultimate act of power.You can take a woman’s body for a while, you can hurt her, you can violate her, but you have no power to force her to victimize anyone else. Giving birth to a baby conceived in rape is a woman’s way of saying, “You don’t own my soul, you can’t make me be like you! I will not punish a child when it is you who should pay the death penalty. I have the power to bring forth good, and I choose today to do something amazing with my life. You have not defeated me! GOD WINS OUT. LOVE TRIUMPHS!”

What happened to Stephanie? Was her life destroyed? She went to college, she married the man of her dreams, and has a beautiful little girl. All because she obeyed, she drew a line in the sand and refused to cross it. And oh, how I thank God for her!

What happened to Andrew? He walks, and runs, skips and jumps without braces, his hips were miraculously healed overnight when he was 2, and early this summer, his spinal cord healed and for the first time in his life he was able to pee standing up like a normal boy. So don’t worry about him, God has him covered!

Life isn’t about how we walk when times are easy, it’s about how we walk when times are hard.


Adoption Card
KH- My Story- Click to Expand

I have met so many different types of people that I can honestly say that every baby is wanted. Those with disabilities as well as conceived in rape. There are loving couples that long to hold a baby in their arms and give him/her their last name. They are heroes too.Some agencies in the past have feared telling potential adoptive parents of a rape conception. My parents were not told the truth about my conception for the same reason. But I can safely say my parents didn’t feel “cheated” for having me as their daughter. I was wanted and I was loved. So the saying all children should be wanted children is not being used honestly. All children ARE wanted.I asked an adoptive mother of a raped conceived child to share her story from the perspective of adoption. She has decided to remain anonymous to protect her child at this time. My saying is Unwanted Pregnancy but not an Unwanted Child. Adoption is sometimes the hardest thing a woman will ever do for the welfare of her baby. But that’s one reason those women are heroes.

Adopting a Child Born from Rape

When Juda asked me to submit an article regarding how I felt about adopting a child born out of a union that involved rape, I couldn’t help but think that, quite simply, it really didn’t matter. To others, I’m sure that may matter, but to us, our daughter was a gift plain and simple. Our biggest concern was her and how we would help her process this information, but for us, it was all gain. Our story, like many adoption stories, began with the horror of infertility. This is our story and hers. (note: names have been changed for privacy)

Everybody loves Christmas, especially those of us who are blessed to have children to celebrate with, but not every married couple has children, even those who want them very badly. This was the situation my husband and I found ourselves in after several years of marriage. Infertility is a heart-breaking, isolating, embarrassing condition, and the hurt and pain are only magnified during the Christmas season.

Adoption is a fantastic option, but it takes a very long time in the United States to be able to adopt an infant. In December of 1998 we found ourselves facing yet another Christmas without a baby, still waiting for “the call” from the adoption agency. It had already been 3 years – would God ever answer our prayers? December, 1998, my Dad was still praying that we would be blessed with a baby this Christmas. December 23, I was at a company Christmas party at a restaurant and a waiter walks over to my table with a phone in his hand. My husband needed to speak with me urgently! A baby girl had been born that morning and her birthmother had chosen us to be her parents. December 24, on Christmas Eve, we brought Lindsey home in a Christmas stocking, and God’s gift to us was under the tree that Christmas.

Six months later, the pediatrician noted some things at her physical that warranted an MRI. The results that came back were devastating. Lindsey had multiple brain abnormalities, and her future was very unknown. The official diagnosis was cerebral palsy. In Lindsey’s case, it compared to someone who has had a stroke. She began physical and occupational therapy at once. Unlike most babies who learn to do basic skills on their own, she had to be taught each milestone, and she had to work very hard on all her motor skills. Each achievement was a victory, but each victory meant moving on to the next hurdle as well!

At the age of 3, Lindsey accepted Jesus. She literally came out of her 2’s and 3’s Sunday school with a Sunday school paper in her hand about the story of Dorcas. She told us she wanted to follow Jesus like Dorcas did, and my husband led her to Jesus. She has never wavered in her love for Jesus and even at that age would ask anyone she met “do you love Jesus”? (If the answer was “no”, she hunted the person down!)

Lindsey has had surgery on her leg two times, both of which had a full recovery time of one year, with several months of not being mobile. One time (as I was crying my eyes out), she told me not to worry because Jesus would be with her in the operating room. Her faith has gotten her through many difficult days.

Lindsey has known mostly struggle from the beginning, but her achievements are made that much sweeter by the struggle. Her weaknesses, from a human standpoint, have made her faith stronger than most her age because she has had to depend on God that much more. She struggles at times with being different and with knowing she struggles more than her peers. She looks forward to the day when Jesus takes away her cerebral palsy, but seems to have accepted that part of God’s plan for her life.

We are eternally grateful to Lindsey’s birthmother. She had every reason in the world to abort the baby she carried, and, in fact, most would have advised her to do so under the circumstances. Barely out of high school, she instinctively knew that murdering her baby was not a solution to the crime that had come upon her.

While I cannot speak to every situation, I can tell you , in this case, the Bible verse Romans 8:28 has been true “ And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” God took an infertile couple, a woman who had been raped, and a child that may have been aborted and, as only He could do, turned it into an unbelievable blessing. So, while this is our story, it’s really His story. Daily, we watch Him turn evil into blessing because one special, incredible birth mom chose to obey, believe, and then act in what she knew to be true. We are forever in her debt, and grateful to be Lindsey’s parents.

New Jersey

PENTAX ImageBeautiful Child Conceived in Rape- Click to Read Full Story

Jessica’s story:(Adoptive mom on left and Jessica on right)
I was raped in February 2006 staying late and making up a class at my culinary school. I tried abortion. Key word, TRIED. I keep seeing childless families in my head as I lay there on that table, alone. I sat up and said no, I can’t do this, this is wrong. All the abortionist said was that that was just the gas talking. I still said no and I got up and called my ride. I moved back home because I couldn’t bring myself to go back to school.
I went home and knew I couldn’t parent. If love were enough that would be one thing. I still had to finish getting my education. I was only 20 when it happened. I didn’t want to have to work 3 jobs to raise her and not be at her recitals, baseball games, all of it that my mom missed out on trying to make ends meet. Don’t get me wrong I love my momma and appreciate everything she has done for me. anyways..I now have a beautiful baby girl who is not only the light of my world, but the light of her parents world!
But God too has touched my heart and healed me. I have forgiven that man and I pray that someone on in his path will give him the Good News Gospel!
I just got done with Bible College and I am on my way to California to do an internship at an AG church. I am also starting school to be a licensed Christian pastoral counselor.My favorite scripture comes from Isaiah 61:3 He gives us BEAUTY for ashes!What was meant to destroy me (I tried to kill myself a couple of times) was turned around and when the devil takes one from me, I turn around and take 2 for the Kingdom of Light!

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