It’s All in Your Head
Juda Myers © 2008
You’ve heard it said, “as a man thinks so he is”. I guess this would attribute to one person physically capable but out of fear never leaves the house while someone with no limbs experiences joy touching lives all around the world. We wonder in total amazement how Nick Vujicic, has led a more joyous meaningful life than someone we think to have everything going for them. Peter Loth was born in a concentration camp and tortured many years as a child. The world seeing his pregnant mother would have said abortion would be better. His life is not only blessed for himself but for many in the world. As he shares his story worldwide he inspires people to forgive. He has miraculously reconciled Jews to Nazi descendants. Nazi descendants have asked for forgiveness for what their parents and grandparents have done. Too many people have had rough starts but rough starts should not dictate who has to die. My challenge to you is to rethink your thinking. Pain happens, misery is a choice. Everyone has voices in their head. Some are our own and others are from an enemy seeking to destroy us.
The voices in my head may have been louder because I had been adopted at three months. The feeling of loss was there even though I had loving parents. But what I didn’t know growing up was that almost everyone feels worthless and rejected at some point in his or her life. The voices begin early, even as children we hear – you’re ugly, no one likes you, you’re dumb. Even if you’re the popular one sometimes the thoughts creep in that they really don’t like you, you’re not smart enough or someone will take your place. And the recording never stops. We fight those voices till the day we die. A counselor once told me that we choose to be happy. What? My mind couldn’t grasp this concept in the midst of pain. Was he crazy? Did he not ever experience pain? But as I have gone through life I have experienced firsthand the power of our own thinking. Life and death are in the power of the tongue, which speaks from what we think. We can destroy others and ourselves with what we say but only if there is belief. If you think it long enough you will start to believe it. Believing truth is the key to life. Thinking truth occasionally is not good enough. Dwelling on a lie could destroy us. Thinking and dwelling on truth will bring new life every day. Opportunity came to have my adoption records opened. Finally, I would know the rest of the story- the truth. Nervously I drove to the agency alone not sure how I would feel afterwards. I spent 1 hour talking with the social worker. It felt good to share how secure I was in my life with Jesus. My voice sounded strange to me, as if I was sitting off to the side listening. Then the social worker told me something that I had never imagined. She told me my mother had been raped. Instantly I broke down crying for all that my mother had gone through, crying for her pain. But when I got to my car I cried furiously for me. The voices had wasted no time, “See I told you, you were worthless. God didn’t have anything to do with you. And the best thing you can do now is to slash your wrists and get rid of all that nasty rapist’s blood!” I had wondered most of my young life why I was alive. Now I was to face the greatest doubt of my life. Now I would face my greatest battle. The voice was insistent as I sat there now numb, almost lifeless except for the tears flowing down my face. I began to think. My Jesus had sacrificed his life on the cross that I would live and my mother gave 9 months of her life to bring me into this world. I could not let them down. Plus I had given my life completely to Christ. So I said aloud, “ I may not be able to live now but I cannot kill myself. Jesus owns my life.”
I was so depressed. I chose to drown in the horror of it all. I went back to the airport to meet my husband refusing to speak to him. Well the next day I was to work with a composer on a song I’d written. I just figured I could act like nothing had happened. Since she knew nothing I felt safe. However she began playing another song she had just completed. The words tore me apart. I screamed “Shut up, Stop it!” As I hung my head and cried I began to see a vision of myself falling into a black hole, falling deeper and darker. The composer jumped off her piano bench and came to me saying, “I don’t know what is going on but God knew you before you were ever conceived.” Just at that moment I saw in this vision a hand reach down, grab my arm and catapult me into a brilliant light so bright I could hardly keep my eyes open. In an electrifying transformation right before her eyes I lifted my head, looked at her with great joy and said “I believe it!!” Because my thinking had changed I was now free to see and live life in a completely different way. Only seconds earlier I was in the worst despair of my life. This woman asked me a great question, “Who were you before you found out and how does just knowing that change you?” Thinking! In scripture God tells us “Today I set before you life and death. Choose life. We need to hear the voice of truth and think on these things. That’s why the bible tells us what to think on: whatever is true, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:7-9.
My life changed even as I began talking about my experience of deliverance from wrong thinking. All was confirmed again with right thinking when I actually met my birth mother. What a thrill to know she had loved me all along and wanted to see me. With my stomach lodged securely in my throat I had approached the reception desk at the nursing home where she stayed. Before I had a chance to say anything I heard a voice say my name. Last minute fears that my bright blue eyes would bring flashbacks of her trauma soon vanished as I looked into my mother’s eyes. My mother’s eyes were my own. What a great reunion! Tears of joy flowed from everyone around us. The entire nursing home had known about me since the first day she had arrived. She had made me a real part of her life for all of these 48 years. After talking with her for a while I felt eager to know for certain what had happened. So I asked what the circumstances of my conception were. Without hesitancy she said, “Walking home from watching the Ten Commandments, I was raped by 8 men.” Oh my goodness just when I thought life had taken a turn for the better now again I was horrified. I was crying again. Thinking had gone off in the wrong direction once more over a word. Very quickly my mother patted me on the back and said “Honey, stop crying; I’ve forgiven those men and look what God has done. He has brought you back to me. God is Faithful!” This woman had her thinking right and I was going to follow her example. She was open about everything, even doing a TV interview only 30 minutes later. Unlike others I have talked to my mother chose forgiveness instead of bitterness. Her choice was to believe that God had given her a gift she could share with someone else. My adoptive parents were so grateful to her, though only my dad lived to tell her. I remember being in a cloud of wrong thinking most of my life. Looking back I wonder why I wasn’t strong enough or willing to let go of those wrong thoughts sooner. We tend to replay things in our minds over and over and over until we are consumed with the thoughts. Sometimes we even become paralyzed. If we would see wrong thinking as a poison from the enemy maybe it would be easier to turn them away. Doctors have found that wrong thinking can actually cause physical illness. I know personally that life can be different just in how I think. Focusing on who we are in Christ makes all the difference. Christ himself gives us the truth to make that difference. Without Jesus in my life suicide would have been an option for me. But knowing who I am in Him, literally saved my life. Thinking is our foundation for living. It can be built on truth or lies. Lies will be the shifting sands that the bible talks about. Just as we have been fed the lies of when life itself begins so it has led to even Christians believing abortion is OK in the case of rape, deformity or whatever isn’t pleasant. Do I deserve the death penalty for the crime of my father? NO! God said children are a blessing without exception. At this time of year we think on the birth of Jesus but what if Mary had aborted? She had all the reasons that today’s society would use. Unwed, too young, an unwanted child coming into the world, shamed by society but she had right thinking. She wanted the will of God in her life. Do you think it was easy for her? We are the recipients of her right thinking.
Who will be the recipient of your right thinking? Our society has taught us independence and strength in one. But that is a lie. We are not strong on our own. That is when the enemy finds us vulnerable. He has worked diligently to deceive us. Society tells us work is most important and our success is based on looks, education and what we do. Who are we really? What is our purpose? What meaning is all that I do? That should be our questions in times of trials. The will of the Lord is the only thing worth living for and since we are created by Him for Him why would we think we could actually live free apart from Him. When we are focused on His will …wow what a difference it makes… we WILL do all things because He strengthens us. Plus the added bonus of unspeakable joy comes when we do the right thing. Give great thought to this and act upon it for your breakthrough. Having spoken with the persecuted Christians worldwide I have found joy unspeakable. How could that be you ask? They have known the depths of pain but heights of joy in the embrace of their Savior. They trusted and believed and thought on how Jesus truly loved them. Opportunity in suffering becomes great. Opportunity for learning great secrets of life, strengthening your hopes and being the glory of the Almighty God, these are the things I have chosen to think on and believe. These are the things that truly lift me up when I am feeling like I am at my lowest. Don’t you too feel like there are days that you can’t put your finger on it but you just feel depressed and down? Where did THAT come from? You have an enemy that has a mission to take you down and out. You also have the choice to change that. God said, “Today I set before you life and death. Choose life!” I used to wonder why He had to tell us to choose life. Wasn’t it obvious? I guess not because most of us have chosen death in our thinking on more than one occasion. It would be great if we were like computers – just put in another CD. But God has given us His word to replace the word of the enemy. If we use His word it truly does change our thinking. We must stop having conversations with the enemy. Jesus only used scripture to reply to him. Can you hear yourself agreeing with the enemy sometimes? “You can’t do anything don’t even try ” And you say “Yea I remember the time I failed and I will probably fail again.” STOP IT! That, my friend, is foundation for death.
Choose life and don’t waste any time. Do it now because you really do have an assignment to glorify God here.
Even the great people of the bible talked to themselves to achieve right thinking. Faith comes by hearing, hearing by the word of God. Even if your ears have to hear your own mouth speak God’s word to you, speak loudly and clearly. Give the greatest gift to yourself and to others—the gift of truth and right thinking and watch LIFE to the fullest happen. Then watch your world change. Choice: it’s all in your head. Rethink your thinking. Today choose life for yourself and for the unborn.