What A Girl Needs
Anna Richey 1.6.2014
I was recently given a wonderful gift by my Lord. As many of you know, when I was a child, pregnant at the age of 13 due to the abuse suffered at the hands of my step-father, I was shunned by the majority of my peers. I had, at that time, two friends who stood by me throughout my trials, and I will be forever grateful to them for their friendship. They were my supporters and my defenders. When the rest of the world crashed around me, they stood by my side and helped me to keep going. This Christmas, I was able to reconnect with these two friends for the first time in sixteen years. God is so good to me!
Some of you may wonder what you can do for a girl in this situation; and there are several answers. The first thing I would tell you though, is that this girl needs friends. She needs someone to love her and support her, for the things she will face are impossible to overcome alone. Let her know that she isn’t alone. Show her that she is a child of God, who is valued and loved. During times such as these, a person can doubt everything they have ever believed about themselves and others. Even the slightest display of care will have a huge impact on a young lady whose world has fallen apart. Of all the things that you might be able to give a rape victim, love and support are by far their greatest need.
Young girls who have become pregnant due to rape also have physical and material needs that must be met. The emotional stress that she experiences during this time can make it difficult to get out of bed in the morning, much less function well enough to hold down a job. She will need food, shelter, clothing, and other necessities. If you can give her a place to stay, do so! Take her a casserole, or help her do some of the chores around her home. If you are unsure of her needs, a gift card can be a tremendous help! Also, she needs to feel like as normal a person as possible. Simply taking her to the movies, or out to dinner can go a long way towards improving her emotional health.
Having someone to walk through the pregnancy with her is invaluable. Many rape victims are emotionally unstable for a long period of time after the rape. This can make it difficult for them to care for themselves and their child. Make sure that she is getting the nutrition she needs, and that she is receiving proper medical care. If possible, go with her to see her doctor. Just having a friend to hold her hand will make things easier for her.
Probably one of the most important things you can do for a girl in this situation is to make sure that they know Jesus, and have the ability to lean on His strength. It is imperative, however, that this step be done in conjunction with other aspects of assistance. She needs to be able to see tangible evidence of God’s love for her when the darkness and the scars from the rape take hold of her heart and mind. It has been said that a person will not care about what you know until they know that you care. This is true! So care for her! Help her with her physical and emotional needs. Have coffee with her, help her around the house. Bring her a gift, and let her know that you really are praying for her. Call and check on her frequently. And share with her the love of Christ.
Let her know that she is beautiful, loved, and valued beyond compare by the One who died for her. Show her that nothing done to her by man can change the way she is viewed by her Savior. Take her to church with you, and introduce her to the body and bride of Christ. If possible, invite her to a bible study at either your home or hers. But it is imperative that she meet with Jesus during this time. He will be there for her when even her closest friends cannot.
God’s word tells us that true worship is to visit orphans and widows in their distress. To abandon a girl who has found herself pregnant by rape goes against everything that Jesus commanded us to do. This is not a calling or a ministry. This is simply obeying what our Lord has instructed ALL of us to do.
*Note: This article was written by a Christian and is directed in great part towards other Christians. If you are not a Christian, you can still help by applying some of the methods mentioned in this note. However, it is this author’s adamant belief that nothing will help a rape victim more than having the ability to lean on the One who can truly heal her. If you do not know Christ yourself, but would like to learn more about the healing I speak of, please feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.